Think giving her a gift will win her over? Dr. Jonathan White may not agree…
The act of giving is indeed a beautiful gift. Consider the story Dr. Jonathan White, a professor of political economy and sociology, has to share.
Running behind as always, but this time for an important date that I just couldn’t be late for! I found myself at a checkout counter behind an elderly woman seemingly in no rush as she paid for her groceries. A PhD student with not a lot of money, I had hurried into the grocery store to pick up a bouquet of flowers and a pack of breath mints. I was in a huge rush, thinking of my upcoming evening. I did not want to be late for this date.
We were in Boston, Massachusetts, a place not always known for small conversation between strangers. The woman stopped unloading her basket and looked up at me. She smiled. It was a nice smile—warm, reassuring—and I returned her gift by smiling back.
“Must be a special lady, whoever it is that will be getting those beautiful flowers,” she said.
“Yes, as a matter of fact, she is special,” I said, and then to my embarrassment, the words kept coming out. “It’s only our second date, but somehow I am just having the feeling that she’s ‘the one’ and I’ve never in my life felt that before.” Jokingly, I added, “The only problem is that I can’t figure out why she would want to date a guy like me.”
“Well, I think she’s very lucky to have a boyfriend who brings her such lovely flowers and who is obviously so smitten with her,” the woman said. “My husband, God rest his soul, used to bring me flowers every week—even when times were tough and we didn’t have much money. Those were incredible days, he was very romantic and—of course—I miss him since he’s passed away.”
I paid for my flowers as she was gathering up her groceries and putting on her coat. There was no doubt in my mind as I walked up to her. I tapped her on the shoulder and said, “You were right, you know. These flowers are indeed for a very special lady.” I handed her the bouquet and thanked her for such a nice conversation.
It took her a moment to realize that I was giving her the flowers I had just purchased. “You have a wonderful evening,” I said. I left her with a big smile and my heart warmed as I saw her smelling the beautiful bouquet.
I remember being slightly late for my date that night and telling my girlfriend the above story. A couple of years later, when I finally worked up the courage to propose marriage, she told me that this story had helped to seal it for her—that was the night that I won her heart.
Read more about Dr. Jonathan White and the gift of giving in Me to We: Finding Meaning in a Material World, the fully-revised, second edition of the bestselling Me to We book by Craig and Marc Kielburger.
Available on amazon.com, metowe.org or in bookstores near you! The Me to We philosophy is about improving our lives and our world by reaching out to others. It involves focusing less on “me” and more on “we”—our communities, our nation and our world.
